Time becomes more and more of a funny thing as we get older. Moments slip away fast as we strive to reach a goal that seems far out of reach, though it always remains just around the corner. I was thinking earlier this week back to 2020 and reminding myself that I turned 17 that April. This April, I just turned 20 and I’m thinking to myself “Where did that time go?” Even though quarantine doesn’t feel like all that long ago, seeing that three-year gap put things into perspective for me quickly.
My life three years ago resembled a lost sophomore in high school longing to find her place and worrying she would never find it. What will the future hold? Will I be okay? Is everything going to figure itself out? Questions raced through my head as everything seemed uncertain; yet, I stand here now seeing the purposeful challenges and triumphs God placed in my life to lead me to this moment in time.
May 1st. Tomorrow. The start of my last five days of class/finals before I head home for summer break. How is this even possible? Freshman Year of College is over?
Coming in the fall and leaving my family was extremely difficult. I try not to remember those last days at home before I came because they remind me of the time I spent feeling dread and anxiety about the future. I didn’t know what was to come and sadly change/uncertainty and I are not the greatest of friends.
I think that before college my expectations were through the roof. Though I truly didn’t know what to expect, I guess I had made up expectations in my head based on social media and others’ experiences (which wasn’t fair of me to do as each person’s journey is unique). I was so scared to come here and many unknowns remained at large; however, sitting here now, I can confidently say my expectations were not met in the way I wanted, but rather in the way they were supposed to be.
Being on your own comes along with its own set of trials and ups and downs. I had my fair share of tough moments and feelings of loneliness, but all these moments have added to an experience I would never change because I have grown immensely.
Before coming here, I didn’t know how to do accounting or make huge Excel workbooks or act in front of the class, but I stand here now feeling accomplished. Not only did I learn in the classroom, I learned outside of it as I experienced life with the people around me. From the good friend I met in the community bathroom to the one I met on my intramural soccer team, I found some incredible people I deeply care about.
As freshman year is slowly coming to a close, I feel like I am seeing the puzzle pieces being laid exactly as they were meant to be. In August this moment was something I was longing for, but now that it’s finally here it’s bittersweet. In all honesty, I never thought I would find myself saying that I would miss this place that holds freshman year. How could a year filled with much growth, trials, joys, and confusion be missed? Well, it can be and it will be.
Life will never go exactly the way we plan or want. But rather the masterpiece is depicted by pieces slowly placed with care and intentionality. Slowly but surely, the beauty is revealed and all we have to do is be patient and trust. Simple right? No definitely not, but absolutely worth it. I will forever thank the Lord He led me to this place. He has stretched me more over these last 9 months than I feel I ever have been and for that, I’m so grateful.
The Lord is doing the same in all of us. He is making us His masterpiece at all times. Whether it seems like a mess or everything is going well, He is making something extraordinary in your ordinary.
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